BLUES KUALA LUMPUR (Capital F's First Single)

INTI-UC Orientation Night 09 is where we belted out our first single, Blues Kuala Lumpur.

Lyrics composed by Damien
Arranged by Capital F

Vocals - Damien "Marley"
Lead Guitar - Reuben "Reubz" Dave
Bass - Joshua "JT" Thomas
Drums - Calvin "MC Wahzai" Chung

How did you like the song and my band? Do comment! Peace out!

Lyrics:

Tiap hari ke Central Market
Naik LRT bayar seringgit
Keluar dari rumah semuanya duit
Kalau terkena memang sakit

Kuala lumpur eh eh eh
Kuala lumpur
Kuala lumpur
Semuanya hendak duit

Mat Salleh datang buat rombongan
Petaling Street menjadi tumpuan
Itu semua barang tiruan
Ayuh beli buah tangan!

Kuala lumpur eh eh eh
Kuala lumpur
Kuala lumpur
Memang jadi tumpuan

Central Market ke Chow Kit Road
Naik bas pulak kena berebut
Kalau 'jam' semua tersangkut
Kalau tak 'jam' pecah ribut

Kuala lumpur eh eh eh
Kuala lumpur
Kuala lumpur
Semuanya KELAM KABUT

Ramai orang lalu lalang
Jumpa awet atau jumpa abang
Buat duit lorong belakang
D'kejar polis lari lintang pukang!

Kuala lumpur eh eh eh
Kuala lumpur
Kuala lumpur
Banyak ayam-ayam

DBKL nama diberi
Dia buat kacau lagi
Lari-lari sana sini
Alek-Alek dalam lori

Kuala lumpur eh eh eh
Kuala lumpur
Kuala lumpur
Ramai yang isi todi
Kuala Lumpur
Ramai yang layan todi
Kuala Lumpur
Ramai yang minum todi....

Calvin's Guide To Manglish - Chapter 1 [Names]

Being a Malaysian, we've got to love and respect the way we screwed up the English language
and making it our own daily language and even our very own culture.

Chapter 1[Names]

Ah Beng
Someone who looks and behaves like a nerd, usually with very short hair.
Very good in Maths and chess but lacks alot in the social department

Ah Kwa
A male with extremely feminine behavior. Talented in arts such as
beauty, hairdressing and fashion. Also called "pondan".
The more extreme Ah Kwa's are transgenders with big, fake neh-neh poks.

Ah Pia
The older version of Ah Beng. Engineering students were popularly known
as Ah Pias. "Eh Ah Pia, smelling ah?" Always at other faculties to try their
luck with chicks.

Auntie
Use by young Malaysians to address elder women. Whether or not the ladies are
blood relatives or not, anyone who looks old enough is an "Auntie".
"Excuse me Auntie, you dropped your carrots."

Barsket
A curse word to address someone you hate or who annoys you. A substitute
word for the ruder word, Bastard. Barsket seems more.. hurm... polite.
"Woi BARSKET! Your grandfather's road ah?!!"

Bladibarsket
A more extreme version of Barsket. Bladi substitutes bloody, thus bladi barsket
would be the Malaysian alternative for Bloody bastard.

Bladiful
Manglish version of bloody fool. Not only used to swear at others,
but also can be used playfully or affectionately.
"Eh... how are you bruder! Bladiful, damn long never see you larr!"

Big Shot
Nothing to do with guns, but used to address important people or of higher ranks.
Also can be used sarcastically to address ppl who thinks their "butt very big"
"Take your leg off my table lah! You think you big shot ah?!!"

Botak/Botak head
Someone who is bald or at the verge of being bald.
"Eh Botak head, come here and show me your homework."

Chinaman
A comparative expression for Chinese men with rude and uncouth manner.
Also used nowdays to address people who are kiamsap, stingy or calculative.
"Aiyo, you pay for the kopi lar this time. Don't be so Chinaman lar you!"

Doongu/Goondu
Used to address people whom one deems as stupid or dumb.
A much more polite word compared to Bodoh and can also be used to tease others.
"I tell you how many times oredi you still kenot understand. Real Doongu lar you!"

Hantu
The accurate meaning of "ghost" but used to describe one who is very naughty.
"Your son a real Hantu lar. See lah, he go pour kicap all over my blouse."

Jinjang
Used previously for those who like commonly like to hang out at cinemas
and shopping complexes. Nowadays used to describe those who looks "one kind"
and always trying to emulate movie stars with flamboyant outfits.
Another similar word: Lala.

Kay Po Chi
Originated from the Hokkien language and used to address those who love to
"dig other people's nose" or to be busybody. Abbreviation: KPC.
"Eh don't Kay Po Chi lah. Everything also want to know!"

Kiasu
Also originated from Hokkien which literally means "Scared to loose".
People who are kiasu can't resist freebies, sales, giveaways and discounts.
"These Singapore barskets really kiasu lar. Got sale only all flock to Malaysia"

Mangkuk
Updated version of Goondu which is also used to describe those who are stupid.
Mangkuk is the Malay word for bowl. Probably used to relate an empty headed person
to an empty bowl.
"Mangkuk betul lar these people. Orang cacat (disabled person) parking also go and park!"

Mat Salleh
Affectionate name for Westerners and Caucasions.
Probably originated from the phrase "Mad Sailor'. Alternative word: Orang puteh
"Aiseh..go US two months only come back with Mat Salleh accent ah?"

Papan/Airport
Used to describe women who lack in the chest department.
To depict a women's chest to be as flat as a plank or a runway at the airport.
"Wah, why you so busty ar? I stand beside you feel like airport only"

Pat Poh
Chinese expression for kay poh chee. Only slightly more harsh and also used
to mock a lady that you are annoyed or angry with.

Sotong
Malay word for squid. Used to address guys who have a very effeminate character.
Substitute word for Pondan. Probably to denote someone to be as soft as a squid.
"HA HA HA, look at that sotong fella running!"

Exercise 1:

1. Who dou you call a "buaya"? - _______________
2. Define the accurate meaning of "kerling" - ______________
3. Construct a sentence with "natan" - _____________

-end of Chapter 1-

I.. AM.. BACK!

Greetings! Felt like I took a shuttle to outer space and came back since its been an awful while since I last did ANYTHING to my blog!
It was also because of the incident where my good old dell laptop mysteriously disappeared from my room without any break ins to my apartment at the time where my housemate coincidentally went missing without a single trace. Anyway, God Bless whoever who liked my laptop so much that they decided to make it theirs because if the police don't get you one day, KARMA will! Goodbye to my loyal computer....

*takes a deep breathe*

AAAAnyways.... Got my replacement a month after I placed an order, and yes... another Dell
( I'm a loyal fan of Dell, what?) A Dell XPS 1530. *Giggles*
Only thing is, I FUCKING HATE VISTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

So, to conclude, I'm back to blogging and hope to get in touch with all of you again!
Drop me a hello would you? =)

Taken during 12th INTIMA Gathering. =)

BRB

Been caught up with some stuff so no posts currently.
Anyway will catch up with blogging once I'm free!
Feel free to drop by anyways and keep in touch.

-mistercalvin-

72 Ugly Virgins!!

I recently heard about the series of terrorist attacks that went on for a few days in Mumbai, India so I tried Boogling it (my definition of Googling when one is Bored).

Apparently, there were a series of ten coordinated attacks committed by terrorist, which began across Bombay, the largest city in India. It began on the 26th of November and ended on the 29th leaving 174 innocent people lying in body bags now whereas 293 others were injured

Eight attacks took place in South Mumbai at places like five start hotels, restaurant, hospital, movie theatre and a POLICE HEADQUARTERS!
Boy do they have monkey nuts to jack a police HQ!

But to come to think about it, man... why India?!
Probably those smelly cum bags(scumbags) are jealous that:

1. they are good in computers
2. the chicks in Bollywood are so much hotter than theirs.
3. they are annoyed by how long Tamil movies are and decided to take matters into their hands.
4. they feel intimidated by those Indian actors being so macho and all.
5. they hate their cricket team.

Why India?!

Since when did hotels and restaurants became a target? Intrigues me how much these mofos love to cause pain and suffering to people.

Imagine some dude making sweet love to his girl at the hotel and when its about to get real hot he starts hearing GUNFIRE and GRENADES. Coitus interruptus and he's poor balls will shrink!

Imagine another dude having a scrumptious meal at the restaurant, satisfyingly munching on this tandoori naan, savoring its rich taste in spices and all of a sudden Kaboom! He choke's to death. Never interrupt an Indian having a tandoori! Never!

Imagine the cricket player in a game who's the batsman starring at the cricket ball being hurled towards him and as he hopefully hits the ball a bomb goes off! He'll probably live in misery the rest of his life thinking that his hit was so powerful it blew the place up!

Shooting of Bollywood films and TV series has also been halted in the city. Now what are the rest of the 1.13 billion chumps and chumpettes in India gonna do? They just officially fucked up the lifes of a whole nation!

Anyway thats some really sick shiet! I wonder whats next? Or who's next!
A Malaysian and a Singaporean was popped over there.

If these sick and lost souls would just shut up, have a thosai and find a better way to help the world, things will be better.

Instead, they are proving to the world how stupid they are and how HORNY they are being easily tempted by being told they will get 72 virgins in heaven.

You know what, the only virgins they are gonna get are 72 butt ugly virgins that are so stupid that no guys on earth wanna sleep with them. Thats why they are virgins!
Curse you terrorists!!!

Additional materials:

This was something I found in washrooms of Hotel Istana Kuala Lumpur during INTIBall '08.

C4 in toilets. Bad idea! Somebody might freak out and call the bomb squad.

Anyway its just a hand dryer.

But then, better to avoid unnecessary confusion.

The last thing we want would be for someone who mess up the racial harmony in Malaysia!

Shibby Puchong Premaas!

This is how I remind myself how Nilai sucks!
Was at my brother's place at Puchong, got kinda hungry since it was almost dinner time so I decided to shove my ass from the couch and hunt for food around the area. Found this place!

PREMAAS CAFE
"Best Banana Leaf in Puchong."
That is what was written in the name card.
Best part is they serve Indian, Chinese, Western and African Food!

10 reasons why I like this place.
1. They serve Chinese food better than some Chinese restaurant
2. Drinks are good
3. Wide selection of food on menu
4. Price is reasonable! Sweet & sour fish rice + Teh Tarik + Coke = RM8.50
5. Its air conditioned and they have free WiFi.
6. Has Astro and they have the MTV channel on instead of Vallavan
7. They have a mini karaoke lounge
8. They serve booze! No hard liquor but beers.
9. The waitress are friendly and efficient
10. The place is kept very clean and neat

Entrance to Premaas. Looks simple.

Interior with some Nigerian dudes around since they serve African food

2 dudes watching pornography. Jk! Bt they are hogging the free WiFi

Friendly waiter at the counter

Cool stuff from Memory Lane for sale.

What I had; sweet and sour fish

Even they are in the Christmas Mood! Kuddos!

Cute Christmas gifts

I just wished Nilai has places like this! Cheap, satisfying and cosy. Damn that ulu place!

Anyway here's the address of the Premaas Cafe at Puchong.
No. 6, Jalan Tempua 2A, Bandar Puchong Jaya, Puchong (Around IOI Mall)

Where else should I go? =)

Museum Chinese Restaurant

Its not really my usual blogging style to post about places I go to feast but now that I have a better camera phone I decided to take more pics to shove it into my blog. =)

Buffet Branch at Museum Chinese Restaurant at Legend Hotel, Kuala Lumpur.

Lobby of Legend Hotel

Didn't know why the pebbles amused me so much. Like Ottelo.

Entrance of Museun Chinese Restaurant.
Notice our Malay friends walking inside too. Its halal! No POK No POK!

He's gonna be dead meat! HarHarHar!

Krusty Krabs


Big prawn. (Before)

Cooked prawn (After) They were in the same aquarium.
Probly to remind the live one about its fate.

The spread.

My mom's style of feasting. If its expensive, its good shit.


Porridge and crab soup. Looks kinda obscene.


Mini Egg Tarts. REALLY mini egg tarts.


Supposedly Ice Kacang but it became like 'tong sui' dessert


Teletubby at work. My brother!

Teapot with a very long 'shaft'.
The waitress sed it was used coz more convenient to serve tea to big tables from one spot.
So to me it meant to satisfy more customers. *Smiles*

Chinese Restaurant in Christmas mood!

This dude is literally STONED!

My Mom. Pardon her tummy. Picture taken after our feast! Lol

Mister Calvin Chung.

All in all the food was OK. Nothing that made me go WHOA! But it was good because it was also a Dim Sum buffet and I haven't had Dim Sum for a long time.
The ambiance was great. Service was excellent.
And price of RM41 per pax is sorta reasonable considering it is dim sum and I alone probably ate 100 bucks worth! Haha.

Overall its worth a try and I would definitely be back seconds in future!

Considering the time I have during this long break, I plan to go round finding for good food and entertainment round Kuala Lumpur.

"Jalan-jalan cari makan.... hiburan.....
hmm dan perempuan...HA HA HA... *ahem*"

Just kidding on the perempuan part but I'm serious bout food and entertainment and I really need something to hit the spot!

Where do you suggest I should head to? Please do tell me!!!! =)

Hate Mail To Santa!

Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter.
I asked for a bicycle, an electric trainset, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but i had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighbourhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.

What balls you have leaving me a fucking yoyo, a lame whistle and a pair of ugly socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat prick, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little shithead across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house. Don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that fucking bike. FUCK YOU SANTA! Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT COCKSUCKER.

Sincerely,

Little Johnny


Just for laughs. Got it from somewhere. =) Xmas is still gonna rock!

What would you want for Christmas this year?
I would want a new v drumset and a MAC pc... bt very impossible..
haha.. anyway..

Whats Better Than Sex?

Q: Whats better than sex?!
A: The pleasure of successfully producing another audio track!

Didn't mean to break a few hearts but this posting isn't about sex for all that matters. Its about whats better. Hope it wasn't too HARD ON you.

Anyway....

I've been slithering along with time these few weeks since holidays started with an intensive learning more of Fruity Loops audio production software, and of course, Photoshop. Thats like my daily routine if I' wasn't doing anything else.

A major pain in the ass just learning the functions this kickass software has to offer.
It sounds much better and surreal now that i know how to pan my channels, apply envelope settings, render effects on samples, slice beats and crank up the damn bass!

Anyway, took me a whole 3 days to put together a piece which is by far my favourite composition.

It may sound a little weird coz I'm a little tired of mainstream stuff.

I updated my post since Youtube's audio encoding suxx.
Found a place to upload music - http://www.muziboo.com with an Ok 64kb audio quality.
I uploaded a downloadable copy online to so anyone who has it, its copyrighted by me! =)

Anyway, check it out:-

Ready, Be Experienced [re-optimized 24.11.08]

This was how my window looked like when i finished:

(Tip: remember to colour code and name your stuff to avoid confusion)

Audio Sample Credits to:
Daft Punk - Better, Faster, Stronger
Rihanna - Please Don't Stop The Music (Sampled only a short beeping sound)
X-files

Kinda cool too now that i learnt how to synthesize my voice and make it sound cool!
"A Calvin Chung Production", and so it says, this song's copyrighted!

Please leave a comment after the beep.......
.
.
*Beep!*

Can You Find Jesus?

p/s: At the bottom of this post is a picture. Read on and when u reach, click it and find Jesus

What Does Life Mean To You?

Dude A : What is life to you ah?
Dude B : Don't know, go check dictionary...
Dude A : Aiyo, I mean in your own diction lah...
Dude B : What my own dick? What talk you???
Dude A : No, I mean in your own words.......
Dude B : Ohhh, life ah? Very simple! Life is being 'friends' with Jack Daniels, climbing up DunHill, playing DOTA all day long, money and girl!
Dude A : *smacks head*

Teenage trends and its meaning towards life
by Guru Tugginmypudha


DOTA - Get A Life
Dunhill - Shortens your life
Drugs - Takes away your life
Jack Daniels - Makes you not give a fuck about life
Unprotected sex - Manufactures an undesired life
No money - No life
Anime addiction - "Its NOT alive!"
Blogging - Broadcasting your everyday life
Fast food(Wendy's 3/4 pounder) - LIFE!!!

I was blog hopping and I stumbled upon Lisa's blog at http://www.chewak.com/, and found an a very interesting question that she posted on her blog on behalf of her friend.

What is the meaning of life? Why do we exist?

(At this point I was starting to think whether it has anything suicidal to it =P)

*quote from Lisa's blog*
"I believe once you achieve something that is important in your life will make your life meaningful. But what is it that you want in life? I answered him, happiness. If I could achieve happiness in life, that would be a meaningful life to me. And, then he asked, what will satisfy you to achieve your happiness? That is where I am lazy to answer as this will take too much of my brain cells and saliva wasted to explain. That depends on what are your goals right?

Why do we exist? Lao Tzu preached that we exist to sacrifice for other beings, and that is the purpose. I have no idea how that was derived to give a meaning of why we exist in this world. Do you? And, I do not know how to answer to such question!"
*endquote*

This was my comment:-

Life is what keeps your heart from being a non moving piece of muscle.
Life is something that keeps us alive.
Scientifically its everything in a living thing and non-scientifically its your soul and ability to have emotions.
Life is knowing that you are dying like every creature on this planet except at different times.
Life is knowing that you are dying and without knowing when, you want to make each day count.
Life is something no one can truly explain but what we individually believe it means that dictates it.
Life is like a kid in a playground, he must enjoy to the fullest yet refrain from injuries or mishaps.
Life is growing old with you knowing that you are growing, tougher, wiser, and better.
Life is like an empty sheet of test paper and for you to fill it up, carefully.
Life is where 50% its a trivia of whats right and wrong, and the other half is doing whats right and hindering whats wrong.
Life is subtle like a breeze where it'll only hit you once but you learn how to appreciate it.
Life is where you play as Steven Spielberg and you direct the greatest adventure film of your life.
Life is a given opportunity to think, do, speak, and live by what you believe.

Life is a given opportunity to have an answer to what the meaning of life is, yourself, because you owe no one an answer except to yourself!

Why do we exist?

Answer lies in the mirror. Purpose of your existence is not to figure out who sent you here but to GIVE a purpose to your existence as long as you are here.
You probably won't realize it but if you have done something in your life that you are proud of, you'll have an answer to why you exist."

Basically, I believe we were given the fundamental necessity to dictate our own lives and we architect our own future.

My elements of life
--------------------------
knowledge, faith, family, friends, love, wealth, strength, health, passion and music!

So, whats YOUR elements of life?

"Can you find the image of Jesus?" =)
5th INTIMA conference pic Photoshoped