Friday, January 30, 2009

Calvin's Guide To Manglish - Chapter 1 [Names]

Being a Malaysian, we've got to love and respect the way we screwed up the English language
and making it our own daily language and even our very own culture.

Chapter 1[Names]

Ah Beng
Someone who looks and behaves like a nerd, usually with very short hair.
Very good in Maths and chess but lacks alot in the social department

Ah Kwa
A male with extremely feminine behavior. Talented in arts such as
beauty, hairdressing and fashion. Also called "pondan".
The more extreme Ah Kwa's are transgenders with big, fake neh-neh poks.

Ah Pia
The older version of Ah Beng. Engineering students were popularly known
as Ah Pias. "Eh Ah Pia, smelling ah?" Always at other faculties to try their
luck with chicks.

Use by young Malaysians to address elder women. Whether or not the ladies are
blood relatives or not, anyone who looks old enough is an "Auntie".
"Excuse me Auntie, you dropped your carrots."

A curse word to address someone you hate or who annoys you. A substitute
word for the ruder word, Bastard. Barsket seems more.. hurm... polite.
"Woi BARSKET! Your grandfather's road ah?!!"

A more extreme version of Barsket. Bladi substitutes bloody, thus bladi barsket
would be the Malaysian alternative for Bloody bastard.

Manglish version of bloody fool. Not only used to swear at others,
but also can be used playfully or affectionately.
"Eh... how are you bruder! Bladiful, damn long never see you larr!"

Big Shot
Nothing to do with guns, but used to address important people or of higher ranks.
Also can be used sarcastically to address ppl who thinks their "butt very big"
"Take your leg off my table lah! You think you big shot ah?!!"

Botak/Botak head
Someone who is bald or at the verge of being bald.
"Eh Botak head, come here and show me your homework."

A comparative expression for Chinese men with rude and uncouth manner.
Also used nowdays to address people who are kiamsap, stingy or calculative.
"Aiyo, you pay for the kopi lar this time. Don't be so Chinaman lar you!"

Used to address people whom one deems as stupid or dumb.
A much more polite word compared to Bodoh and can also be used to tease others.
"I tell you how many times oredi you still kenot understand. Real Doongu lar you!"

The accurate meaning of "ghost" but used to describe one who is very naughty.
"Your son a real Hantu lar. See lah, he go pour kicap all over my blouse."

Used previously for those who like commonly like to hang out at cinemas
and shopping complexes. Nowadays used to describe those who looks "one kind"
and always trying to emulate movie stars with flamboyant outfits.
Another similar word: Lala.

Kay Po Chi
Originated from the Hokkien language and used to address those who love to
"dig other people's nose" or to be busybody. Abbreviation: KPC.
"Eh don't Kay Po Chi lah. Everything also want to know!"

Also originated from Hokkien which literally means "Scared to loose".
People who are kiasu can't resist freebies, sales, giveaways and discounts.
"These Singapore barskets really kiasu lar. Got sale only all flock to Malaysia"

Updated version of Goondu which is also used to describe those who are stupid.
Mangkuk is the Malay word for bowl. Probably used to relate an empty headed person
to an empty bowl.
"Mangkuk betul lar these people. Orang cacat (disabled person) parking also go and park!"

Mat Salleh
Affectionate name for Westerners and Caucasions.
Probably originated from the phrase "Mad Sailor'. Alternative word: Orang puteh
"Aiseh..go US two months only come back with Mat Salleh accent ah?"

Used to describe women who lack in the chest department.
To depict a women's chest to be as flat as a plank or a runway at the airport.
"Wah, why you so busty ar? I stand beside you feel like airport only"

Pat Poh
Chinese expression for kay poh chee. Only slightly more harsh and also used
to mock a lady that you are annoyed or angry with.

Malay word for squid. Used to address guys who have a very effeminate character.
Substitute word for Pondan. Probably to denote someone to be as soft as a squid.
"HA HA HA, look at that sotong fella running!"

Exercise 1:

1. Who dou you call a "buaya"? - _______________
2. Define the accurate meaning of "kerling" - ______________
3. Construct a sentence with "natan" - _____________

-end of Chapter 1-

Thursday, January 29, 2009

I.. AM.. BACK!

Greetings! Felt like I took a shuttle to outer space and came back since its been an awful while since I last did ANYTHING to my blog!
It was also because of the incident where my good old dell laptop mysteriously disappeared from my room without any break ins to my apartment at the time where my housemate coincidentally went missing without a single trace. Anyway, God Bless whoever who liked my laptop so much that they decided to make it theirs because if the police don't get you one day, KARMA will! Goodbye to my loyal computer....

*takes a deep breathe*

AAAAnyways.... Got my replacement a month after I placed an order, and yes... another Dell
( I'm a loyal fan of Dell, what?) A Dell XPS 1530. *Giggles*
Only thing is, I FUCKING HATE VISTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

So, to conclude, I'm back to blogging and hope to get in touch with all of you again!
Drop me a hello would you? =)

Taken during 12th INTIMA Gathering. =)