Saturday, October 25, 2008

BOLLOCKspot.com?

In my FIRST ever posting done like months ago, I define BLOG as the abbreviation for Bisexuals, Lesbians Or Gays since I use to think that blogging are only for queers.

Now that I've turned to the backside *choke* urm I mean dark side, I realize that Blogspot offers more trash, crap and nonsense on the net than any other webserver in the world.

Did you know that the word 'B L O G' came from the British English lingo 'Bollocks' which exactly means 'testicles' or commonly use to classify something as nonsense.

Creator of blog : So, wise one... what should I name this new invention?
Yoda : Bright future in this I see. The most trash will it contain in future I predict.
Creator of blog : Trash?
Yoda : Ya... trash, bullshit and bollocks! Look inside you must!
Creator of blog : Bollocks, Bollock, bollog, bllog, BLOG! Imma name it... BLOG!

Since Blogging came along, mankind started trashtalking over the Internet like, ALOT!

There are billions of blogs hosted over the Internet today. Thats a whole lot of trash!
Every single time when you wanna Google something up, there bound to be results which comes from a blog.
Sooner or later, the Internet is gonna be
INTER
national Network of Extra Trash with the overload of garbage information.

Well, next would be Wikipedia since people are allowed to change its contents, so said one of my lecturer "STOP CITING YOUR PROJECTS FROM WIKI" so I assume WIKI means
Worst Information Keeper Intheworld.

p/s : If you are 10 years old and below and you dig what I just said, blog DID NOT come from bollocks!
If you are 10 years old and above and you dig what I just said, you're plain stupid.

NEVER TRUST ANYTHING ON THE NET!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

A New Beginning

Yeap, a new 'beginning'.... a new header to begin my blog with.
Replaced my blog header since I always thought that my previous one was kinda plain.
Like the new one better.

What do
you think?

Comment comment.

mistercalvin.blogspot.com

Friday, October 3, 2008

The 10 Commandments with My 10 Responses

*Viewer's discretion is highly needed. If you're allergic to religious jokes please proceed to the posting after the next posting.


The 10 COMMANDMENTS and my 10 RESPONSES

I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD WHO BROUGHT U OUT OF THE LAND FROM EGYPT
[asl pls? the last time i checked my IC says 'Place of birth:Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia ]

YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME
[B..B...But you said you were the one and only?!]

YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FOR YOURSELF AN IDOL
[DAMN, there goes my chance to participate in Malaysian Idol]

YOU SHALL NOT MAKE WRONGFUL USE OF THE NAME OF YOUR GOD
[Whats your name? hat about stuff like "JESUS CHRIST!!!!'" or "HOLY MOTHER OF GODDD!!!!", "IN THE NAME OF GOD STOP SCRATCHING YOUR BOTTOM LAH?" ]

REMEMBER THE SABBATH AND KEEP IT HOLY
[Black Sabbath?? well yeahhh rock and roll baby!!! Keep it holy i shall]

HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER
[yea.. i'm wouldn't want my allowance be reduced again, pffft!]

YOU SHALL NOT MURDER
[uhh... does that cockroach count? well, he started it first!!]

YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY
[uh oh]

YOU SHALL NOT STEAL
[its ok... i only rob, carjack and hack paypal]

YOU SHALL NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST YOUR NEIGHBOR
[but i REALLY saw Mr. Tan chewing his own nose droppings from my window!!!]

YOU SHALL NOT COVET YOUR NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE
[More like he'll covet MY house... haha]

YOU SHALL NOT COVET YOUR NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE
[what??HER???EWWWW!!!!]

That was just for laughs.
Anyway its always good to stay true to your religion then nothing others say or do can really touch you. What really matters is what you believe in.
Religion guides us to deny wrong and do what's right.
What's screwed up is that people nowadays listen more to what certain humans preach about and believing so much in what others preach that they lost their own free will to think and choose.
The free will to think whats best for yourself AND the people around you.
Extremism is not the solution.
Its by believing in something and standing by the qualities and principals that you've adopted as you grow to be older, may you find the right way to fight for what you believe
Extremism was, is and should never be the way.
Or else...
it would be another case of blind leading the blind.
That is EXACTLY whats happening to the world today. Pity.

I'm Catholic by the way


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Allah Was Bombed?!

Wait, let me get a few things straight!

1. I'm straight
2. I have nothing against Islam or any religion
3. I am not racist
4. I was young back then

Ok with all the Hari Raya spirit in the air, I've been quite excited about the Raya Holidays and study break until I finally realize its utterly boring with no one around campus and having my beloved mamak shop who's manager wants to take me to Bangalore with him, is closed which gave me a very odd feeling when I see that its not in operation as its open almost 365 days a year without rest which makes me sort of pity the workers there as I never did see them having a day off but it would be alright since according to them they don't have anywhere else to go except to sleep and work........

*GASPS FOR AIR*

Anyways, I was eating at the Mamak one day recently and it was "buka puasa" (break fast - not breakfast... ) time. Where the prayers started to "berkumandang" on the tele.
As usual it starts with "Allahuakhbar" and it goes on.

It actually reminded me of myself when I was a little younger when I use to sit and stare at the prayer being aired on TV3 until my mom comes and say "You got nothing else better to watch ah?"

Having to live 16 years at Ipoh where my house is situated near .. well... not so near... to the army barracks i'm used to listening to the Muslim prayers which will be my alarm clock in the morning too.

And on that day, I laughed at myself for having a misperception way back then.

Check this out.....

When I was younger.....

I use to think that they were actually saying.....

"ALLAHHHH WAS BOMBED!" instead of Allahuakhbar.....


Yeah....

I've been thinking that it was .. erm.. that.... all my life until I actually saw the spelling one day.

And thinking back about the September 11 attack and those few-screw-loose terrorist attack news on the paper trying to blow up the whole world.

It got me thinking......

Says my Malay friends, those are the lost ones who thinks their heroes when in the FIRST place they misintepreted the Quran.

So I thought to myself.....

Prayers came from the Quran.....
Terrorists misintepreted the Quran.....
I'm hearing "Allah Was Bombed" almost everyday.....

THOSE ASSHOLES THOUGHT THAT ALLAH WAS BOMBED SO THEY WANNA PLAN THE SAME ATTACK ON THE REST OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THOSE PRICKS................................
.
.
.
.
.

Ok.... NOW that i realize that I was the bigger prick misunderstanding what the prayers mean.... I finally realize what it actually meant.
But never have I tried to disrespect any religion since I believe all religion that we hold strongly onto, only teaches us how to do good and stay away from trouble. (at least the legit ones).

But that doesn't mean the terrorists aren't pricks!


Anyway, in the spirit of the marking
the end of Puasa Month, I
would like to wish all my Muslim friends,
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri dan Maaf Zahir Batin!

"Khye Theng" Ok your name is on my blog already!
And i'm kind enuf to put ur blog link here... and ur picture!
http://khyetheng.blogspot.com/
Hasil Kerja Calvin Chung

Clara's Confusing Profession

The following is my MSN conversation with Clara Tan (My beloved ex-GRO... eh i mean PRO)

˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi:
today u got work meh?
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: i tot today holiday??
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ yesterday also working...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ he he
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ damn tired
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ my customer is thailand ma..
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ they work i must work also
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ LOL
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: -.-"""""
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: THAI... LAND......
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: WHAT..... ARE U WORKING AS?????
·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: *gulp*
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ customer fulfilment professional
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ bored like hell man this job
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ damn stressful !!!
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ that day work till 1am...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ >.< ˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: customer FULFILMENT?????
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ sad case man...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ got job no life
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: PROFESSIONAL SUMOREEEEEEEEE
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ya...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ LOL...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ishhh
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ come back come back
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ plz dun go so far
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ LOL
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: THAILAND...
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: CUSTOMER FULFILMENT
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ crazy
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ishhhh
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ dun go other place ok...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ LOL
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: DANG...............
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: tsk tsk tsk.. clara clara...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ aiyo...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ishhh...
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: clara = gro
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ your head la...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ishhh
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ T_T
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: so.............. wat do u fulfil those thailand ppl?
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ LOL
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ i process their orders lo...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ >.< *care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ raise delivery order all
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ha ha
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: PIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ your head la..
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ LOL
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: OMG SO FUNNY
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ wat funny la..
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ crazy
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: k lar k lar...
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: shiet i'm so hungry now....
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ go eat lo..
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ i eat mcd
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ha ha
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: shiet i just wanted to order mcd...
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: but i have to go atm..............
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ LOL
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: k i go bathe first... then come back blog about u
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ha ha...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ go go go...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ its so far...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ mine is just below my office only...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ no no no...
*care*-): ċĽąяά 陈佩仪™ ishhhh
˙·٠●•ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Calvi: use mcd as cover up for ur operation ehhh

Now that I know, Clara has a secret profession....
Guessed all that "PUBLIC RELATION" officer experience she got during
12th INTIMA paid off.
Haha, just for laughs yah Claraaaaa..... don't get angry!

My recommendation, find a job with a not-so-confusing title so that ppl like me won't tend to misunderstand!

Alright... stay tuned.... SAWADIKAP!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Leeching!

GAH! after a season of dry and postless blog, I finally found someone's Internet connection to leech on. Haha!
I know its ethically wrong but i'm shifting from this wretched place of mine to a new place. So i'm currently without a personal network until I shift.
Next best thing is to leech and I happen to find someone kind enough not to lock his/her network.
So yeah, I'm praying for that generous soul to continue to go unaware that i'm leeching his/her net!
Man, god bless u, whoever you are!

Life w/out Internet is painstakingly uhrm... pain.

Having to walk all the way to academic block to leech on the wifi, to the cyber cafe in the middle of the night, or borrowing someone else's net, sucks!

Anyway, looking forward to blogging again... in my room where the mood only seems right here.

To the dude/chick whom internet I am leeching on...

I'M NOT HERE...

I'M NOT HERE...

I'M NOT HERE...

*poof*

Oh yea..... i got bored during RAYA holz.....
so i decided to goof around with Dr. Lee (our beloved president of INTI-UC) photo.

Now thats one president you don't wanna mess with!

"Don't mess with muh univursitee"