Girls are Like Exams!

My mom : A perfect girl is hard to find since girls are like a teapot....
Me : Yeah.....either their character is or their body shape is...

Girls are like exams. Here's why:

You have to study them constantly and thoroughly.

You'll start getting "good luck" wishes from your friends before you begin.

Your mom keeps telling you about it.

The lesser credit hours u have to spend on it the better.

You'll spend quarter of the time thinking doing it and the rest pondering if u have chosen the right course.

You'll have to do all the work.

You're in trouble if you're scheduled for 2 at the same time.

You'd rather have a much easier one.

You're literally dead if you were found cheating.

You pay a lot for it and if you fail all is lost.

Referring to "Past year papers" can come in handy.

Most of the time you just want to get it over with.

You can't go anywhere else without someone following you.

Grades depends on how well you do it.

Half of the time you'll be bullshitting.

If you tell yourself you love it you're lying.

If you pass you'll do fine.

If you fail you're dead.

You'll be the happiest person if you get a First Class Honors.

Ronald McMurder (Exclusive Interview with McRempit)

McDonalds, McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut....

Let me leave KFC and Pizza Hut outta this and lemme talk about MickiDs since its one of the BIGGEST fast food tyrant on earth's surface.

The last time I ever had a BigMac was way long time ago, last week and that ain't my ideal thought of an ideal Happy Meal coz I wasn't exactly happy.

WHY??!!

I was pondering at their advertisement saying "At McDonald's we've got time for you".
Then why is it FAST food.
Why do they design their service so that you're in and out as soon as possible?
Why do you feel hungry so soon after eating a Big Mac?

The power of stupid advertising. NOW, it does not really take any special intelligence for you to start questioning McDonalds and realize that something is seriously wrong.

You probably know who Ronald McDonald is.
Yea, the red-haired clown who looks very much like Joker from Batman only thing he probably had a much better make-up artist.
He's probably much more popular among kids compared to other cartoon icons like Cookie Monster from Sesame Streets by a friggin clear mile.

I pretty much don't get it since to me that clown looks very much like a pedophile always smilling so widely in pictures staring at a bunch of kids running around him.

Ronald McPedo

Damn, does he look alot like Michael Jackson in disguise or what?

Nearly ALL McDonalds advertising are aimed at children.

PLAYGROUNDS, Happy Meals and most of all those toys they make that comes with every purchase of a Happy Meal.

I probably know that some of you go insane when McD comes up with a new plush toys that you have to go every week, get a McChicken just to be "eligible" to purchase that plushy.
GIRLS especially in this case and half of them ain't kids.
Ya, ya its cute... I know I know.... *rolls eyes*

Anyways, I think McDonalds has more bullshit than any other fast food outlets in the world.

If you do visit Malaysia's McDonald's website you've got check out one section called
"Balanced and Active Lifestyle"

It looks something like this:

















"Eating right for a balanced, active life"
Well hell yeah it does but NOT McDonalds!

Why do they even have this page, with a dude and his kid flying aeroplanes?

What kind of sick dad would bring his kid to McDs everyday?

Should McDonald's be even said to be serving "Nutritous Food?"













This is weirder!

In 2004, McDonalds actually launched a "Fitness Fun" programme with that pedophile clown to encourage children to take care of their health.

DOES HE EVEN LOOK LIKE HE CAN RUN????

The only thing they are ever gonna work out is their mouth chewing so many McWhatever that the clown shove them with. Geez!

Next fact: McJunkFood

The reason why McDonald's food don't really fill you its because of their ingredients.
If it does, it probably won't even last you half a day!
A Quarter Pounder is made up of 48% water.
How screwed up is that?
Spending RM25 on McWaterFood that lasts me only 3 hours, I'd rather buy 25 bottles of Spritzer that'll bloat me up more than that.

No matter what they call it, Fast Food, Ferrari, Porche or Lamborghini food its still junk food.
Its synthetic and packed.

What scared me the most are McD's famous GMF!
No, not that "Gay Mother F**ker" pedophile clown, but their famous Genetically Modified Fries.

McEXPERIMENT

Kids, if you DON'T believe me, here is one experiment that your Chemistry, Biology and Physics teacher will give u an A+ for doing it.

1. Beg your mommy to bring you to the nearest McDonalds.
2. She probably won't so cry as loud as you can to annoy her.
3. If you succeed, get to McDonalds and order ONLY fries.
4. OK I know you probably won't follow step no. 3 so just buy your McWhatever and keep at least 1 of your french fries.
5. Bring it home and put it in a jar.
6. If you don't have a jar put in your piggy bank.
7. If you don't have a piggy bank just leave it in any container.
8. And GET a piggy bank to start saving money.
9. Check back in 2 months.
10. Taste the McTwoMonthsOldFries if you dare.
11. If not just have a good look and you'll notice it'll probably look as good as new.

Yeap, McFrenchFries takes at least one and a half months to rot! Or maybe longer!
Makes me feel like i was eating plastic all along. DAMN!

Next Fact: Exclusive Interview With McRempit

The following is a live interview with a McDonalds Delivery Rider, also known to us by McRempit to make him sound more "glamer"(glamourous).

We ordered McDonalds just so that we could interview that dude and he was rather reluctant so we told him it was for our semester project about the fast food industry.
He accepted finally (or else we'd probably jump and choke him for wasting our money) and
here is what he said:-

The Interview with MrMcRempitz

Let me break it down for you.
In the interview we found out that every hour that dude alone comes to deliver orders from INTI about 10 times and approximately 20 trips to places around the area.

Assuming each trip, there are only 5 orders and McDonald's peak hours are from 7pm to 3am which is 8 hours, I shall multiply that to the RM3 delivery charge they charge us.

20 x 3 x 8 x RM3 = RM1440 just by delivery charges alone.

In a month it'll be RM43200 BY DELIVERY CHARGES ALONE!

And if I assume that there are only 100 outlets in Malaysia, it'll be RM4,320,000 spent by us on delivery charges!!

IN A YEAR IT'LL BE RM51,840,000 ON DELIVERY CHARGES... ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Second fact that MrMcRempit cared to share with us is that, there ARE blokes who order food from McDonalds almost EVERYDAY until he can even recognize them by their name on the receipt!

And the worst part is the nearest row of restaurants and mamak shops are just 5 minutes away by foot, tops!

Now, I know why the pedophile clown is so happy all the time!

This is ROYAL MCMURDER!

PEOPLE,

Kicking the McHabit of burger is easy. And it's the best way to start by giving up meat altogether.....


Alright i'm just kidding. Unless you are a branchiosaurus aka vegetarian.
Hell i'm never gonna give up meat! Haha!

But you never know in future what new McWicked and McSick ideas McDonalds is going to have to advertise their McProducts.

NO ONE is ever safe from the pedophile clown.

They might even make it seem more right for everyone to eat their burgers by coming up with
erm..... burgers for.... ALL RELIGION!
Picture having stuff like McChristian, McBuddhist, and McMuslim.

The whole world is going McCrazy! And I doubt that it will McEver stop!

Its just gonna be you killing more McCows and McHens
or
you can save 'em
by eating with some McCommonSense.

FAST FOOD KILLS........ DON'T LET IT KILL YOU!

These are fries from FacebookCafe tho. But it still McCOUNTS!

INTIBALL 08 Performance

Performance at INTIBALL '08, singing "Always Be My Baby" by David Cook with the guitar.
Thanks to Reuben my budak rumah on the bass and Erwin on the bangers.

Performance video - Always Be My Baby

Finals.... Is this the END?!

For those of you who are having your finals
(especially blokes from INTI since its the time of the year when we all wish we were dead),
here are some of MY tips on how you can survive this
World War 3

BUT look,
I'm not gonna tell you about how you should be writing your notes or drawing your mind maps cause I bet you already know it because... YOU'RE IN COLLEGE!

Ok, here are some of the techniques I adhere to during examination seasons:-

The Art of Paper War

1. Save the time fretting about how much you have to study and just study. Worrying makes it double.

2. Plan and strategize the most strategic place to place your alarm clock so that you won't whack it and go back to bed.

3. Prepare a dictionary beside you so you don't have to spend time thinking of how to spell a word when you are writing for your exam paper. Easier if you understand the word.

4. Don't get too stressed out till you start thinking of how to obtain MC so that you can skip your exam.

5. Use the stress ball INTI gave you when u first enrolled if you happen to be over-stressed. -Squeeze it for mild stress.
-Hurl it at your friend to give yourself a good laugh for extreme stress

6. If your friend wants to hurl a stress ball at you to release his extreme stress, RUN if you don't wanna get hurt just before exams. But stay PERFECTLY still if you need an MC.

7. Sleep with your book or notes under your pillow. (Mental encouragement)

8. Don't overeat because more oxygen is needed to go process the food and none for your computer up there. (your brain)

9. Make sure surrounding temperature is right. Too cold will induce sleep. Too hot you'll spend half of your time cursing INTI.

10. IM your peers to dig whatever tips or insight information you can get.

11. Remember to smile at your lecturers when you see them.

12. Drink more water. Not about being good for your body but you'll get to go to the toiler every now and then constantly to take a break.

13. If you are prone to panic attacks,don't continue reading notes. Lay down on your bed and ponder about how what you are going to do during the holidays.

14. Hang a BIGGEST and SCARIEST photo of your mom or dad on your wall, set it as your desktop wall paper and maybe your cellphone too.

15. During free time, spend some time generating a list of possible excuses you can give in case you fail your paper.

16. Put your phone on silent so no nimkampoop can disturb you when you are trying to make a connection with your notes.

17. Put MCDONALDS delivery service hotline number on speed dial.

Put a note outside your room saying:-

"DO NOT DISTURB!

Unless you have tips for me.."


p/s: Viewers discretion is HIGHLY needed. Writer will NOT be responsible for any damages caused.

So those are some of the stuff that might be able to help you cheat death...
And for all those reading who are having your papers...

Good luck..... if you never did study coz you'll be needing lots of it.
All the best..... if you did!

Anyhow GOOD LUCK to myself >.<

Owh and...
what are YOUR studying techniques that you can share with me?

Voice Of INTI [ INTI song ] - Remix

Ok, I have thought about remixing the INTI song way long time ago but i was just too busy to sit down and do it.
Now that life's much easier after completing my term as the 12th INTIMA President,
I finally got the chance to remix the song.

Why? Coz I seriously think that it needs a facelift. The current song that we have is WAY to old school and audio quality is bad.

This is the new age!

If we were to try to get the students to listen, learn and know the song its gonna take more than some marching band-ish song to do that.

Anyway here's the song... with the lyrics.

Do comment after watching it, aight?! Thanks!

Voice of INTI Remix - Calvin Chung

This is the old version of the song if you wanna listen to it.

Windows Trance + Your God Is Dead

Apologies to those who visit my blog often coz I din really update my glob recently. Quite a number of topics yet to come but still stuck in this head of mine. Just need time to edit the videos and pictures. Soon I'll be liberated (temporarily) after my exams.

Anyway, I just got this awesome software called Fruity Loops 8 from Horus aka General T.

Fruity Loops

Installed it and got a chance to check it out, so I made my first ever mix and I named it Windows Trance. And i edited my post like awhile ago to upload another of my creation, "Your God Is Dead". You'll find out the reason why so take a chill pill and have a go in listening. Remember to crank your volume a little higher since its trance.

p/s : If you are super religious and u think my second mix is WRONG then...... too bad.

Windows Trance by MC Wahzai



Your God Is Dead by MC Wahzai

Like it? Feel free to comment. Cut me some slack btw. Its my first! =)
If you want the mp3 feel free to add me at beyondmyconfessions@hotmail.com
Come back soon for more updates! Cheerios...